ah, it's good to be back. okay, not really. but second day back after vacation and catching a user is just fantastic to me.
so, rx gets dropped off in the drive-thru, all torn up and whatnot, written today (it seriously looked like it had been in a washing machine) of course for...what else people...."hydrocodone 10/325." the first tip off was that there was already writing on it, date of birth and allergy, from another pharmacy. which, of course, means they took it somewhere first and they did not fill it. i can't imagine why. i ask if she had been to a store of ours before, the answer being no, and if she had insurance, and she said she was paying in cash. ah ha....second tip off.
so i go abouts my usual central search and find her name, but having nothing filled since 2005. i figured that can't be right, so i opened the search broader, and find a hyphenated last name for her, but no meds under that since 2007. so, for shits and giggles i look her up under the other last name and BANG, she's been going to a store near her house (a town over) regularly, and using a DIFFERENT last name that what is on the prescription. one, i'm assuming is her maiden name, and one her married name. and...hahaha, turns out she has an insurance. crafty ol' me. so, la la la, process said script under her insurance and...dun dun dun...reject! "similar medication quantity left on 1st rx" delightful. for me at least. so a quick call to the insurance reveals that she had received a months worth of tramadol yesterday, and was still finishing up some 7.5/500s from the middle of July. tee-hee, i'm on to her game. i find out where the script was processed before she took it to me, and i give the other pharmacist a call and turns out they found out the same thing from her insurance and refused to fill it.
then a smile creeps onto my face (not unlike the Grinch) as i start to write aaalllll over it, that she actually has insurance and she is getting medications under her maiden name AND her married name, some as cash some under her insurance. i get a warm fuzzy feeling inside when i do this. and, really, the icing on the cake is when i make a copy and write a little note and fax it to her doctor's office about the goings-on. ah, satisfaction.
i can't help but smile when i hand the script back, after explaining that we would have to call and verify the fill with the doctor. she, of course, wants the prescription back. and i get a little tingle when she frowns at the writing on it. sad for her.
what makes it worse is that she had two little kids with her. i mean, 2-year-old, and one maybe 8 months or so. i feel sad knowing they have to grow up with parents that lie and cheat the system to get narcotics which they either sell or use or both.
some days, i lose all faith in humanity.
Showing posts with label Lortabarrific. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lortabarrific. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Top Ten Reasons You Need Lortab (or other controlled substances) Early!
10. Sold it all
9. Was taking over the toilet and dropped the whole bottle in (Why.....?)
8. My purse was stolen
7. My doc told me to take more (this one's a 50/50, sorry MDs, you fuck up too...)
6. My dog/cat/llama/iguana was playing with the bottle.......
5. Was taking over the sink and dropped the whole bottle down the drain (What.....?)
4. They broke into my car (and only stole my controlled substance)
3. My doctor wrote me a new subscription, so I can get it (Not so much)
2. They broke into my house (No, your police report will not net you an early refill)
1. Going on vacation. If you take a controlled substance, your likelihood for vacation increases
by at least 10-fold.
9. Was taking over the toilet and dropped the whole bottle in (Why.....?)
8. My purse was stolen
7. My doc told me to take more (this one's a 50/50, sorry MDs, you fuck up too...)
6. My dog/cat/llama/iguana was playing with the bottle.......
5. Was taking over the sink and dropped the whole bottle down the drain (What.....?)
4. They broke into my car (and only stole my controlled substance)
3. My doctor wrote me a new subscription, so I can get it (Not so much)
2. They broke into my house (No, your police report will not net you an early refill)
1. Going on vacation. If you take a controlled substance, your likelihood for vacation increases
by at least 10-fold.
Friday, July 25, 2008
User O' The Day (Two In Fact!!)
Aahh it was a bright an early Friday morning, T-minus 8 hours until my VACATION (hey, I only get one a year) and my first phone call of the day was from, oddly enough, Phrustrated's replacement in our CorpoPharma family. We chat often, I knew him as an intern, all around good guy. Anywho, it was regarding a mutual user of ours who had showed up, bright and shining at 9am at said other store looking for his "'prazolams" (I'm...not kidding) one day early. The funny part was...that his doctor's office had mailed them to my pharmacy and I had been planning to drop them off later, along with the cover scripts they mistakenly sent us as well. Well, lo and behold, not 10 minutes later I see a GIANT red-faced huffing and puffing man at my Drop-Off counter. And I mean....GIANT.
"Hey, the other pharmacy said you had my scrips!"
Yes, I did. And oh, the doctor was smart enough to even post-date it. There's a reason they do that; because they've had trouble with you getting them early before. And I even saw the pharmacy law argument coming from miles away. I informed him that we could not change the date on a controlled substance prescription over the phone and his doctor would have to write out a new one. No, he can't phone it in.
"Look, I know the law, and I know that this is only a Tier 1 medication! I gotta get these I have a big weekend planned!" A big weekend of passing out I assume.
Uh, what? You mean a generic, say I. "No, there's three tiers of drugs and these are like...Tier 1, and then there's Tier 2, and Tier 3 is like my Oxycontins and Codones (which he is on too, of course) and stuff. You know what I'm talking about."
Oh. No, I don't. So I looked the angry red fatman in the eye and say, "Actually, there are five SCHEDULES of controlled substances, and this one is a schedule 4. And I know the law, too." Angry red-faced fatman sits down muttering to himself and proceeds to whip out a cell phone and try to get ahold of his doctor's office. Then, he says those magic words: "Is there a 24-hour store around here?" And you know what, I gave the fatman his prescription; no pharmacist in their right mind would fill a post-dated control, and if he tried to change the date (a big tip-off, you users) the doctors office, just a phone call away, is closed. Mwahahahaha. So at least when he goes to fill it at 12:01am, he's not my problem.
Later today, about T-minus 4 hours til VACATION, a get a Soma script shoved at me.
"What kinda Somas do you guys have? The ones with the 'CORE'(Corepharma) or whut?" I informed him that we carried Qualitest brand. "Oh hey, lemme see those" and I show the silly user our carisoprodol, and I get the "No, I dunno what it is about some of them but those don't work, gimme my scrip back"
Ahh, what a fun-filled last day before I have to be back two Mondays from now.
"Hey, the other pharmacy said you had my scrips!"
Yes, I did. And oh, the doctor was smart enough to even post-date it. There's a reason they do that; because they've had trouble with you getting them early before. And I even saw the pharmacy law argument coming from miles away. I informed him that we could not change the date on a controlled substance prescription over the phone and his doctor would have to write out a new one. No, he can't phone it in.
"Look, I know the law, and I know that this is only a Tier 1 medication! I gotta get these I have a big weekend planned!" A big weekend of passing out I assume.
Uh, what? You mean a generic, say I. "No, there's three tiers of drugs and these are like...Tier 1, and then there's Tier 2, and Tier 3 is like my Oxycontins and Codones (which he is on too, of course) and stuff. You know what I'm talking about."
Oh. No, I don't. So I looked the angry red fatman in the eye and say, "Actually, there are five SCHEDULES of controlled substances, and this one is a schedule 4. And I know the law, too." Angry red-faced fatman sits down muttering to himself and proceeds to whip out a cell phone and try to get ahold of his doctor's office. Then, he says those magic words: "Is there a 24-hour store around here?" And you know what, I gave the fatman his prescription; no pharmacist in their right mind would fill a post-dated control, and if he tried to change the date (a big tip-off, you users) the doctors office, just a phone call away, is closed. Mwahahahaha. So at least when he goes to fill it at 12:01am, he's not my problem.
Later today, about T-minus 4 hours til VACATION, a get a Soma script shoved at me.
"What kinda Somas do you guys have? The ones with the 'CORE'(Corepharma) or whut?" I informed him that we carried Qualitest brand. "Oh hey, lemme see those" and I show the silly user our carisoprodol, and I get the "No, I dunno what it is about some of them but those don't work, gimme my scrip back"
Ahh, what a fun-filled last day before I have to be back two Mondays from now.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I thought money was the root of all evil....
I was once again sorrily mistaken. As it turns out, Lortab (Vicodin, Norco, Lorcet, Hydrocodone/APAP, which ever you prefer) is actually the real devil's semen. Sorry I've been lax on my postings, I know my readers (both of ya) are like: "where's the PP?" Well, I'm still here and here I go. As Cal said in "The Forty Year Old Virgin," "I had a weekend." Mine was not one of bestiality sex shows, but one of Lortab mania. Why is this magic bean such a driving force in America today? Hydrocodone/APAP is the #1 prescribed drug in America and is undoubtedly (although there is no data to track it) the most abused drug in America. Move over nicotine, marijuana and ecstasy. Sorry crack, you had your time in the sun. Lortab is the shit now. Let's recant on my weekend, shall we:
Saturday, October 27, 2007: A ragged wench in a beat up sweatshirt presents me with a prescription for...... ..... .... ...yes, Lortab (7.5 of course). She states she's dropping it off for her "daughter" who has no insurance (red flag) and is not in our computer (crimson flag). Thankfully, she's got to go grocery shopping while I fill her prescription. Well, I start to fill said prescription when I stumble upon the directions: Sig: 1 Q H PRN. For those who aren't pharmacists, fluent Latin speakers or drug addicts, this means "Take one tablet every hour as needed. Needless to say, by hour 4 or 5 her liver would resemble something that looks like chum. I then (diligently) phone the dentist (ahem) to confirm the prescription. Her reply is "I never write for Lortab." Did I mention that the dentist was at a convention on the day the prescription was written? The dentist was dumbfounded. "I don't know what to do, I feel so, so, so.....violated." "Uh, I'll call the police," with a what-the-fuck-are-you-retarded flint in my voice. "Oh, yeah.....that's a good idea,"(no shit) blundered the dentist (more on her in a skoch). I call the police and then they send a squad car or seven to our parking lot. The aforementioned scumdouche comes back in the drive-thru (fucking thing) and my tech alerts me. I call the dispatch and they tell me they're on it. They were not lying to me folks. I waltzed over to stall her and there was a cop in front of her car yelling "TURN OFF THE CAR MA'AM!" This was the only time the drive-thru seemed useful to me. It turned into a giant screen real life episode of COPS. Thankfully, she did have her shirt on. So I watched as they "questioned" her and then slapped on the cuffs and dragged her sorry ass to the clink. Have fun tossing salads and/or finger-banging Bubbette, you greedy addict bitch. It turns out the statutes have changed, and prescription forgery is now a class D felony (7-10 years in the hole). I hope the attempt at 30 Lortab was worth it - I hear those orange jumpsuits give one crotchrot. What's the moral of the story? Don't shit where I eat or I will throw it back at you and hit you in the mouth with it at such a great velocity that you end up in the hoosegow for 7-10 years. I wonder if Lortab (Lor-a-tab) has replaced cigarettes as currency in prison - whoops, she doesn't have any (haha).
As for the dentist, I wouldn't let this special Olympian (no offense) wipe my ass let alone drill holes in my teeth. There should be some sort of common sense evaluation process for professionals whom deal with drilling holes in things. She told me she kept her (waiting to be stolen) script pads layin' around - might wanna cut back on that, I have important drug shit to take care of without having to let you outside to piss. Fuck Lortab and fuck dentists - they're both overrated.
Saturday, October 27, 2007: A ragged wench in a beat up sweatshirt presents me with a prescription for...... ..... .... ...yes, Lortab (7.5 of course). She states she's dropping it off for her "daughter" who has no insurance (red flag) and is not in our computer (crimson flag). Thankfully, she's got to go grocery shopping while I fill her prescription. Well, I start to fill said prescription when I stumble upon the directions: Sig: 1 Q H PRN. For those who aren't pharmacists, fluent Latin speakers or drug addicts, this means "Take one tablet every hour as needed. Needless to say, by hour 4 or 5 her liver would resemble something that looks like chum. I then (diligently) phone the dentist (ahem) to confirm the prescription. Her reply is "I never write for Lortab." Did I mention that the dentist was at a convention on the day the prescription was written? The dentist was dumbfounded. "I don't know what to do, I feel so, so, so.....violated." "Uh, I'll call the police," with a what-the-fuck-are-you-retarded flint in my voice. "Oh, yeah.....that's a good idea,"(no shit) blundered the dentist (more on her in a skoch). I call the police and then they send a squad car or seven to our parking lot. The aforementioned scumdouche comes back in the drive-thru (fucking thing) and my tech alerts me. I call the dispatch and they tell me they're on it. They were not lying to me folks. I waltzed over to stall her and there was a cop in front of her car yelling "TURN OFF THE CAR MA'AM!" This was the only time the drive-thru seemed useful to me. It turned into a giant screen real life episode of COPS. Thankfully, she did have her shirt on. So I watched as they "questioned" her and then slapped on the cuffs and dragged her sorry ass to the clink. Have fun tossing salads and/or finger-banging Bubbette, you greedy addict bitch. It turns out the statutes have changed, and prescription forgery is now a class D felony (7-10 years in the hole). I hope the attempt at 30 Lortab was worth it - I hear those orange jumpsuits give one crotchrot. What's the moral of the story? Don't shit where I eat or I will throw it back at you and hit you in the mouth with it at such a great velocity that you end up in the hoosegow for 7-10 years. I wonder if Lortab (Lor-a-tab) has replaced cigarettes as currency in prison - whoops, she doesn't have any (haha).
As for the dentist, I wouldn't let this special Olympian (no offense) wipe my ass let alone drill holes in my teeth. There should be some sort of common sense evaluation process for professionals whom deal with drilling holes in things. She told me she kept her (waiting to be stolen) script pads layin' around - might wanna cut back on that, I have important drug shit to take care of without having to let you outside to piss. Fuck Lortab and fuck dentists - they're both overrated.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
