ah, it's good to be back. okay, not really. but second day back after vacation and catching a user is just fantastic to me.
so, rx gets dropped off in the drive-thru, all torn up and whatnot, written today (it seriously looked like it had been in a washing machine) of course for...what else people...."hydrocodone 10/325." the first tip off was that there was already writing on it, date of birth and allergy, from another pharmacy. which, of course, means they took it somewhere first and they did not fill it. i can't imagine why. i ask if she had been to a store of ours before, the answer being no, and if she had insurance, and she said she was paying in cash. ah ha....second tip off.
so i go abouts my usual central search and find her name, but having nothing filled since 2005. i figured that can't be right, so i opened the search broader, and find a hyphenated last name for her, but no meds under that since 2007. so, for shits and giggles i look her up under the other last name and BANG, she's been going to a store near her house (a town over) regularly, and using a DIFFERENT last name that what is on the prescription. one, i'm assuming is her maiden name, and one her married name. and...hahaha, turns out she has an insurance. crafty ol' me. so, la la la, process said script under her insurance and...dun dun dun...reject! "similar medication quantity left on 1st rx" delightful. for me at least. so a quick call to the insurance reveals that she had received a months worth of tramadol yesterday, and was still finishing up some 7.5/500s from the middle of July. tee-hee, i'm on to her game. i find out where the script was processed before she took it to me, and i give the other pharmacist a call and turns out they found out the same thing from her insurance and refused to fill it.
then a smile creeps onto my face (not unlike the Grinch) as i start to write aaalllll over it, that she actually has insurance and she is getting medications under her maiden name AND her married name, some as cash some under her insurance. i get a warm fuzzy feeling inside when i do this. and, really, the icing on the cake is when i make a copy and write a little note and fax it to her doctor's office about the goings-on. ah, satisfaction.
i can't help but smile when i hand the script back, after explaining that we would have to call and verify the fill with the doctor. she, of course, wants the prescription back. and i get a little tingle when she frowns at the writing on it. sad for her.
what makes it worse is that she had two little kids with her. i mean, 2-year-old, and one maybe 8 months or so. i feel sad knowing they have to grow up with parents that lie and cheat the system to get narcotics which they either sell or use or both.
some days, i lose all faith in humanity.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Top Ten Reasons You Need Lortab (or other controlled substances) Early!
10. Sold it all
9. Was taking over the toilet and dropped the whole bottle in (Why.....?)
8. My purse was stolen
7. My doc told me to take more (this one's a 50/50, sorry MDs, you fuck up too...)
6. My dog/cat/llama/iguana was playing with the bottle.......
5. Was taking over the sink and dropped the whole bottle down the drain (What.....?)
4. They broke into my car (and only stole my controlled substance)
3. My doctor wrote me a new subscription, so I can get it (Not so much)
2. They broke into my house (No, your police report will not net you an early refill)
1. Going on vacation. If you take a controlled substance, your likelihood for vacation increases
by at least 10-fold.
9. Was taking over the toilet and dropped the whole bottle in (Why.....?)
8. My purse was stolen
7. My doc told me to take more (this one's a 50/50, sorry MDs, you fuck up too...)
6. My dog/cat/llama/iguana was playing with the bottle.......
5. Was taking over the sink and dropped the whole bottle down the drain (What.....?)
4. They broke into my car (and only stole my controlled substance)
3. My doctor wrote me a new subscription, so I can get it (Not so much)
2. They broke into my house (No, your police report will not net you an early refill)
1. Going on vacation. If you take a controlled substance, your likelihood for vacation increases
by at least 10-fold.
There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People Who Ask Questions
Many times during my day I will be interrupted. Sometimes by the elderly, sometimes by the rude, sometimes by the ignorant and sometimes by the elderly, rude and ignorant. I love the last trifecta. ERIs (elderly, rude, ignorant) looovvvve to ask questions.
It will start out innocent and annoying enough. EXCUSE ME! I HAVE A RASH! WHAT WOULD BE GOOD FER IT?!?
Here we go. I ask the typical 'try to get down to the bottom of it' questions. When did it start, where is it (that one can go terribly awry), how long have you had it, is it itchy (thank you Drugmonkey), is it raised, is it dry, is it puffy, did you start using a new soap, have you been in the woods, so on and so forth...
No matter what, these old codgery fuckers always pick what THEY picked. Why fucking ask me and waste my rash curin' time if you're going to ignore my 'expertise' and give me a dirty look. Listen, I have no problem with you wasting your hard earned social security check (that I provide you) on Benadryl Gel. If you want to get that even though I told you it was useless (it really is) then fine; be my fucking guest. Get your black salve and drown yourself in it - it's your money and my time you're wasting.
It gets down to this: you want to hear me say you're right. Well, you're not. I'm sorry, but you wouldn't be guessing and/or asking if you were. I don't go to a mechanic with my car and say "could I put these bicycle tires on it, they're just as good, right?" Instead, I value their opinion so I don't crash and/or die. Take a lesson.
The next group of turds that irk me are the "I thought a pharmacist would know" assholes. A woman calls and says "What's phosphorus?" I can't conjure this, that was her question. What do you say? I said, "it's an element." That went over like a fart in church. "You don't know," asked the woman. "I just told you," I retorted. "Well what does it do?" I'm not sure what she was looking for at this point. The rest of the conversation was basically me defending my stature as a non-retarded human being. Who just sits around and thinks of this shit, seriously. I told her it's mostly used in matchtips and fireworks - not the answer she was looking for.
A woman came to the counter and said she mistakenly took her dog's heartworm medication (in a huff). "What's going to happen?," she exclaimed. After I realized she was serious, I told her to talk to poison control or her vet. How fucking stupid must you be? You took your dog's heartworm medication. How do you fuck that up? Congrats, you've made my list.
Stop making me doubt that I have a clue in life. You (the people-ish types mentioned above) need to strap it down (I have no idea what that means) and stop talking. Thanks.
It will start out innocent and annoying enough. EXCUSE ME! I HAVE A RASH! WHAT WOULD BE GOOD FER IT?!?
Here we go. I ask the typical 'try to get down to the bottom of it' questions. When did it start, where is it (that one can go terribly awry), how long have you had it, is it itchy (thank you Drugmonkey), is it raised, is it dry, is it puffy, did you start using a new soap, have you been in the woods, so on and so forth...
No matter what, these old codgery fuckers always pick what THEY picked. Why fucking ask me and waste my rash curin' time if you're going to ignore my 'expertise' and give me a dirty look. Listen, I have no problem with you wasting your hard earned social security check (that I provide you) on Benadryl Gel. If you want to get that even though I told you it was useless (it really is) then fine; be my fucking guest. Get your black salve and drown yourself in it - it's your money and my time you're wasting.
It gets down to this: you want to hear me say you're right. Well, you're not. I'm sorry, but you wouldn't be guessing and/or asking if you were. I don't go to a mechanic with my car and say "could I put these bicycle tires on it, they're just as good, right?" Instead, I value their opinion so I don't crash and/or die. Take a lesson.
The next group of turds that irk me are the "I thought a pharmacist would know" assholes. A woman calls and says "What's phosphorus?" I can't conjure this, that was her question. What do you say? I said, "it's an element." That went over like a fart in church. "You don't know," asked the woman. "I just told you," I retorted. "Well what does it do?" I'm not sure what she was looking for at this point. The rest of the conversation was basically me defending my stature as a non-retarded human being. Who just sits around and thinks of this shit, seriously. I told her it's mostly used in matchtips and fireworks - not the answer she was looking for.
A woman came to the counter and said she mistakenly took her dog's heartworm medication (in a huff). "What's going to happen?," she exclaimed. After I realized she was serious, I told her to talk to poison control or her vet. How fucking stupid must you be? You took your dog's heartworm medication. How do you fuck that up? Congrats, you've made my list.
Stop making me doubt that I have a clue in life. You (the people-ish types mentioned above) need to strap it down (I have no idea what that means) and stop talking. Thanks.
Friday, July 25, 2008
User O' The Day (Two In Fact!!)
Aahh it was a bright an early Friday morning, T-minus 8 hours until my VACATION (hey, I only get one a year) and my first phone call of the day was from, oddly enough, Phrustrated's replacement in our CorpoPharma family. We chat often, I knew him as an intern, all around good guy. Anywho, it was regarding a mutual user of ours who had showed up, bright and shining at 9am at said other store looking for his "'prazolams" (I'm...not kidding) one day early. The funny part was...that his doctor's office had mailed them to my pharmacy and I had been planning to drop them off later, along with the cover scripts they mistakenly sent us as well. Well, lo and behold, not 10 minutes later I see a GIANT red-faced huffing and puffing man at my Drop-Off counter. And I mean....GIANT.
"Hey, the other pharmacy said you had my scrips!"
Yes, I did. And oh, the doctor was smart enough to even post-date it. There's a reason they do that; because they've had trouble with you getting them early before. And I even saw the pharmacy law argument coming from miles away. I informed him that we could not change the date on a controlled substance prescription over the phone and his doctor would have to write out a new one. No, he can't phone it in.
"Look, I know the law, and I know that this is only a Tier 1 medication! I gotta get these I have a big weekend planned!" A big weekend of passing out I assume.
Uh, what? You mean a generic, say I. "No, there's three tiers of drugs and these are like...Tier 1, and then there's Tier 2, and Tier 3 is like my Oxycontins and Codones (which he is on too, of course) and stuff. You know what I'm talking about."
Oh. No, I don't. So I looked the angry red fatman in the eye and say, "Actually, there are five SCHEDULES of controlled substances, and this one is a schedule 4. And I know the law, too." Angry red-faced fatman sits down muttering to himself and proceeds to whip out a cell phone and try to get ahold of his doctor's office. Then, he says those magic words: "Is there a 24-hour store around here?" And you know what, I gave the fatman his prescription; no pharmacist in their right mind would fill a post-dated control, and if he tried to change the date (a big tip-off, you users) the doctors office, just a phone call away, is closed. Mwahahahaha. So at least when he goes to fill it at 12:01am, he's not my problem.
Later today, about T-minus 4 hours til VACATION, a get a Soma script shoved at me.
"What kinda Somas do you guys have? The ones with the 'CORE'(Corepharma) or whut?" I informed him that we carried Qualitest brand. "Oh hey, lemme see those" and I show the silly user our carisoprodol, and I get the "No, I dunno what it is about some of them but those don't work, gimme my scrip back"
Ahh, what a fun-filled last day before I have to be back two Mondays from now.
"Hey, the other pharmacy said you had my scrips!"
Yes, I did. And oh, the doctor was smart enough to even post-date it. There's a reason they do that; because they've had trouble with you getting them early before. And I even saw the pharmacy law argument coming from miles away. I informed him that we could not change the date on a controlled substance prescription over the phone and his doctor would have to write out a new one. No, he can't phone it in.
"Look, I know the law, and I know that this is only a Tier 1 medication! I gotta get these I have a big weekend planned!" A big weekend of passing out I assume.
Uh, what? You mean a generic, say I. "No, there's three tiers of drugs and these are like...Tier 1, and then there's Tier 2, and Tier 3 is like my Oxycontins and Codones (which he is on too, of course) and stuff. You know what I'm talking about."
Oh. No, I don't. So I looked the angry red fatman in the eye and say, "Actually, there are five SCHEDULES of controlled substances, and this one is a schedule 4. And I know the law, too." Angry red-faced fatman sits down muttering to himself and proceeds to whip out a cell phone and try to get ahold of his doctor's office. Then, he says those magic words: "Is there a 24-hour store around here?" And you know what, I gave the fatman his prescription; no pharmacist in their right mind would fill a post-dated control, and if he tried to change the date (a big tip-off, you users) the doctors office, just a phone call away, is closed. Mwahahahaha. So at least when he goes to fill it at 12:01am, he's not my problem.
Later today, about T-minus 4 hours til VACATION, a get a Soma script shoved at me.
"What kinda Somas do you guys have? The ones with the 'CORE'(Corepharma) or whut?" I informed him that we carried Qualitest brand. "Oh hey, lemme see those" and I show the silly user our carisoprodol, and I get the "No, I dunno what it is about some of them but those don't work, gimme my scrip back"
Ahh, what a fun-filled last day before I have to be back two Mondays from now.
Monday, July 21, 2008
So, at work we keep a log of stupid things our fine customers say. No, really. It's a notebook entitled "Famous Quotes" you all should really see it sometime. We've had quite unbelievable quotes from people, but today I added one that I think topped the charts.
And I quote: "This isn't fucking Russia!!"
Now, where would such an utterance come from, might you ask. I mean, this is a pharmacy, not a political meeting of any sort. But today, when I told a 70-something woman that she couldn't sit in the drive-thru (hence the name) for 15 minutes and wait for her prescription, so proceeded to tell me something about how "this is America" and my reply was the classic look of confusion, and this is the truth I swear, I said "uh...what?" I had to take a minute and step back and think about what this woman was telling me. But instead I told her it would be 15 minutes she could go wait in the parking lot and come back in 15 into the other lane. To this, she backed her car up, and just shimmied right into the other lane, assuming, I guess, that she was just going to wait there in the pick-up lane. I had had it so I was just going to leave her there to sit when, of course, another car pulls behind her. At this point my partner stepped in and asked the woman to move so we could take care of the person behind her and that she couldn't wait in the drive-thru. And to this, her reply was "This isn't fucking Russia!!" and then some more ramblings on about how this was just ridiculous and she left another pharmacy before this one because of the wait (basically, in a nutshell, one of the just-give-it-to-me people). The customers inside were truly aghast as the woman kept yelling in the drive-thru about America and Russia (because, I can only assume, in Russia prescriptions take 15 minutes to fill, whereas in America, they are magically filled when you get there) and then asked for her prescriptions back. I kinda want to know where she eventually took it, seeing as the store down the street from us is usually an hour wait, and the one beyond that in the next town over is probably more because they do a solid 400 by 1pm on any given Monday. I wonder if she ever found that magical pharmacy....you know the one where your prescriptions are filled with no wait and you can get your controls 15 days early.
So, for shits and giggles I call down the street to talk to Phrustrated's sister-in-law who works where the lady had just come from to hear their tale. It ran pretty much the same, only the wait-time there was 45 minutes and she had wanted to wait in the drive-thru. But I guess they were not special enough for the Russia vs. America rant.
Someday I will have to go to a pharmacy in Russia...perhaps yell at them that "This isn't America!" for no real reason whatsoever. In fact I plan on it...
And I quote: "This isn't fucking Russia!!"
Now, where would such an utterance come from, might you ask. I mean, this is a pharmacy, not a political meeting of any sort. But today, when I told a 70-something woman that she couldn't sit in the drive-thru (hence the name) for 15 minutes and wait for her prescription, so proceeded to tell me something about how "this is America" and my reply was the classic look of confusion, and this is the truth I swear, I said "uh...what?" I had to take a minute and step back and think about what this woman was telling me. But instead I told her it would be 15 minutes she could go wait in the parking lot and come back in 15 into the other lane. To this, she backed her car up, and just shimmied right into the other lane, assuming, I guess, that she was just going to wait there in the pick-up lane. I had had it so I was just going to leave her there to sit when, of course, another car pulls behind her. At this point my partner stepped in and asked the woman to move so we could take care of the person behind her and that she couldn't wait in the drive-thru. And to this, her reply was "This isn't fucking Russia!!" and then some more ramblings on about how this was just ridiculous and she left another pharmacy before this one because of the wait (basically, in a nutshell, one of the just-give-it-to-me people). The customers inside were truly aghast as the woman kept yelling in the drive-thru about America and Russia (because, I can only assume, in Russia prescriptions take 15 minutes to fill, whereas in America, they are magically filled when you get there) and then asked for her prescriptions back. I kinda want to know where she eventually took it, seeing as the store down the street from us is usually an hour wait, and the one beyond that in the next town over is probably more because they do a solid 400 by 1pm on any given Monday. I wonder if she ever found that magical pharmacy....you know the one where your prescriptions are filled with no wait and you can get your controls 15 days early.
So, for shits and giggles I call down the street to talk to Phrustrated's sister-in-law who works where the lady had just come from to hear their tale. It ran pretty much the same, only the wait-time there was 45 minutes and she had wanted to wait in the drive-thru. But I guess they were not special enough for the Russia vs. America rant.
Someday I will have to go to a pharmacy in Russia...perhaps yell at them that "This isn't America!" for no real reason whatsoever. In fact I plan on it...
Sunday, July 6, 2008
turn down the bass and fill that prescription....
ahh summertime and the livin's easy. sorta.
summer has become the usual slew of "IMGOINGONVACATIONNOWANDINEEDFIVEMONTHSOFMYPRESCRIPTIONBEFOREMYPLANELEAVESIN10MINUTES" it's not any different really. i got reminded the other day of one of my most favorite customer quotes ever. "whatever happened to the five minute prescription?"
i don't know. but if this guy could find it i wouldn't want it back anyway. a customer and his wife were in the drive-thru the other day for a presciption the doctor had just called in: a z-pak. so i go to the window and say blah blah md just called it in it's going to be about 20 minutes if you'd like to come back or come inside and wait blah blah. so he looks at me and says "well don't you just have to slap a label on it?"
now, for those of you in the profession these are arguably the most hated words one can hear. so i said "it's a little more involved than that sir, thats why your pharmacist is a DOCTOR" and walked away. mostly because you wouldn't like me when i get angry.
i mean, i could go on about what filling your prescription involves, but i'm just not going to; most of you know anyway. and, in fact, now that you've said something as ignorant as that, it's going to take longer. suddenly your insurance is down, oopsie. these people can all go to hell.
but for some reason i am consoled because this is the same patiet...MALE patient...who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. not that cancer is funny, but it is when you are a douchebag and have giant man-titties and turns out you have breast cancer. muhahahaha.
summer has become the usual slew of "IMGOINGONVACATIONNOWANDINEEDFIVEMONTHSOFMYPRESCRIPTIONBEFOREMYPLANELEAVESIN10MINUTES" it's not any different really. i got reminded the other day of one of my most favorite customer quotes ever. "whatever happened to the five minute prescription?"
i don't know. but if this guy could find it i wouldn't want it back anyway. a customer and his wife were in the drive-thru the other day for a presciption the doctor had just called in: a z-pak. so i go to the window and say blah blah md just called it in it's going to be about 20 minutes if you'd like to come back or come inside and wait blah blah. so he looks at me and says "well don't you just have to slap a label on it?"
now, for those of you in the profession these are arguably the most hated words one can hear. so i said "it's a little more involved than that sir, thats why your pharmacist is a DOCTOR" and walked away. mostly because you wouldn't like me when i get angry.
i mean, i could go on about what filling your prescription involves, but i'm just not going to; most of you know anyway. and, in fact, now that you've said something as ignorant as that, it's going to take longer. suddenly your insurance is down, oopsie. these people can all go to hell.
but for some reason i am consoled because this is the same patiet...MALE patient...who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. not that cancer is funny, but it is when you are a douchebag and have giant man-titties and turns out you have breast cancer. muhahahaha.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Tha money ain't a thang.....
Holla at your boy, it's been awhile. I'm still alive. I recently had a change in corpropharmavenues, leaving time a bit pressed and life less stressful (ha fucking za). I've learned a few immutable facts, however.
Pharmacy is pharmacy. Yes, it's deep and profound (actually that sounds terarded) but not alot is different. People are raving lunatic assholes no matter where you are, just not in massive droves like my ol' stomping grounds. I've found smaller doses (pardon) of stupid-jerk-ass-dicks are easier to tolerate than gaggles o' them. What's the point? There isn't one - I just like typing stupid-jerk-ass-dick.
People with money are just as dumb as people without money. How do these folks accumulate wealth (or the appearance of it)? Seriously, some of these douche nozzles shouldn't be able to tie their own shoes let alone carry on a normal life. For all intents and purposes these "rich people" whom "treat me like I'm a little boy who's lost" (I'm not, for the record - I'm large and trapped behind a counter like a large rat) should be lucky the automatic doors open for them. So - when you turn into Snippy McSnipperson over your copays that are always the same (read: different every month - I don't know, I just work here) don't blame me when that automatic door pinches your fat, rich ass on the way out (cocklunch).
People still make my blood boil. I do a good, neigh, great job of bullshitting but there's an inferno ready to break out. Thankfully, I'm relatively sane and will not go postal or Oprah on someone. I know "going Oprah" isn't really a term, but I still hold 2 grudges against her. Yep - Netti pots and Airborne. Oprah is not a pharmacist, doctor, nurse practitioner, midwife, physician's assistant (well...), podiatrist, chiropractor, physical therapist, accupunturist, bus driver, teacher, janitor, jizmopper or anything that gives her the authority to promote this crap. Don't listen to the Oprah, she won't give YOU a car. Only starving kids in South Africa get cars - or something like that. Fuckin' Oprah! Ughhhhh! Fuck!
There, I'm better. God, I hate Oprah.
Pharmacy is pharmacy. Yes, it's deep and profound (actually that sounds terarded) but not alot is different. People are raving lunatic assholes no matter where you are, just not in massive droves like my ol' stomping grounds. I've found smaller doses (pardon) of stupid-jerk-ass-dicks are easier to tolerate than gaggles o' them. What's the point? There isn't one - I just like typing stupid-jerk-ass-dick.
People with money are just as dumb as people without money. How do these folks accumulate wealth (or the appearance of it)? Seriously, some of these douche nozzles shouldn't be able to tie their own shoes let alone carry on a normal life. For all intents and purposes these "rich people" whom "treat me like I'm a little boy who's lost" (I'm not, for the record - I'm large and trapped behind a counter like a large rat) should be lucky the automatic doors open for them. So - when you turn into Snippy McSnipperson over your copays that are always the same (read: different every month - I don't know, I just work here) don't blame me when that automatic door pinches your fat, rich ass on the way out (cocklunch).
People still make my blood boil. I do a good, neigh, great job of bullshitting but there's an inferno ready to break out. Thankfully, I'm relatively sane and will not go postal or Oprah on someone. I know "going Oprah" isn't really a term, but I still hold 2 grudges against her. Yep - Netti pots and Airborne. Oprah is not a pharmacist, doctor, nurse practitioner, midwife, physician's assistant (well...), podiatrist, chiropractor, physical therapist, accupunturist, bus driver, teacher, janitor, jizmopper or anything that gives her the authority to promote this crap. Don't listen to the Oprah, she won't give YOU a car. Only starving kids in South Africa get cars - or something like that. Fuckin' Oprah! Ughhhhh! Fuck!
There, I'm better. God, I hate Oprah.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Lovastatin OTC - Hell No, We Won't Go
I know your pharmacy members are throbbing in anticipation of a new article so....ta-da!
So recently hell froze over, I'm not sure if you know. I...I agreed with an FDA ruling on barring Lovastatin from going OTC as Mevacor 20. Now I don't have too long left in this day of usual hell, so I'm going to make this quick and painless, like Novocain.
First of all, I'd like to know who thinks that these...customers...of ours can successfully manage a medication regimen that revolves around having continuous bloodwork. Or successfully diagnose themselves with "high cholesterol." And not take them just because you're fat. People, collectively, are not very smart. Think of your own scary encounters with customers. Just think about it....
So recently hell froze over, I'm not sure if you know. I...I agreed with an FDA ruling on barring Lovastatin from going OTC as Mevacor 20. Now I don't have too long left in this day of usual hell, so I'm going to make this quick and painless, like Novocain.
First of all, I'd like to know who thinks that these...customers...of ours can successfully manage a medication regimen that revolves around having continuous bloodwork. Or successfully diagnose themselves with "high cholesterol." And not take them just because you're fat. People, collectively, are not very smart. Think of your own scary encounters with customers. Just think about it....
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Why do I even listen?
People are the worst; Jerry Seinfeld said that. I really have lost faith in the "common man." I'm convinced the soon-to-be politically correct term will be the "uncommon man." Don't understand where I'm going with this - let's watch!
A woman called up to see if her "OPPRESSION" drug was ready. Fuck. That is the only one word sentence I could think of. Seriously, how fucking stupid does one need to be. There is a major difference between DEPRESSION (which is what I believe she was referring to - who really knows) and OPPRESSION. Unless you are a former slave or a pharmacy employee, you are not oppressed. Now, before you call me a motherfucker, I am NOT comparing slavery to pharmacy employment in any way, shape or form. We are/were not oppressed in nearly the fashion they were. We do however have to put up with alot of abuse and rarely get a bathroom break. That's neither here nor there, though. Back to "OPRESSA" as I named her in my head.....(what a great birth control name - "kill the tiny babies within you with Opressa!")
I informed her that her oppression medication was not authorized by the doctor yet and she should contact her MD about her oppression med (Oh yes I did). She is in a wheelchair and one of her sons is a dead ringer for Boy George, so maybe I'm the idiot....maybe she is oppressed (huh).
Next in line........we're getting a store face lift after the hostile takeover. PPR - that's paint, powder, reset to those playing along at home. I saw paint (whomever picked those colors should be drug out in the street and shot - twice), I saw reset; I'm not really sure about this mythical powder - it's absence has me a little worried. During the chaos of paint and swearing painters, 1 in 3 people would come up and ask: "So ur shuttin' the place down?" What......the.....fuck? Who paints a fresh coat and moves out? Okay, security deposit guy, I hear you. Really though.....They're painting 14 distinct loud, exotic, and/or hideous colors. What is going through their heads? My responses were as follows:
1. Yep, wanted to spruce 'er up before we shut 'er down...... (Blank stare)
2. Why would we paint just to move out? (Blanker stare - oh, this was the equiv of me saying fuck you without saying fuck you)
3. Yep, tomorrow we're gonna set it on fire (Blankest stare)
Well, sorry for the delay in posting. I'm sure RxforDisaster missed my lunacy.
Ta ta for now.
PP
A woman called up to see if her "OPPRESSION" drug was ready. Fuck. That is the only one word sentence I could think of. Seriously, how fucking stupid does one need to be. There is a major difference between DEPRESSION (which is what I believe she was referring to - who really knows) and OPPRESSION. Unless you are a former slave or a pharmacy employee, you are not oppressed. Now, before you call me a motherfucker, I am NOT comparing slavery to pharmacy employment in any way, shape or form. We are/were not oppressed in nearly the fashion they were. We do however have to put up with alot of abuse and rarely get a bathroom break. That's neither here nor there, though. Back to "OPRESSA" as I named her in my head.....(what a great birth control name - "kill the tiny babies within you with Opressa!")
I informed her that her oppression medication was not authorized by the doctor yet and she should contact her MD about her oppression med (Oh yes I did). She is in a wheelchair and one of her sons is a dead ringer for Boy George, so maybe I'm the idiot....maybe she is oppressed (huh).
Next in line........we're getting a store face lift after the hostile takeover. PPR - that's paint, powder, reset to those playing along at home. I saw paint (whomever picked those colors should be drug out in the street and shot - twice), I saw reset; I'm not really sure about this mythical powder - it's absence has me a little worried. During the chaos of paint and swearing painters, 1 in 3 people would come up and ask: "So ur shuttin' the place down?" What......the.....fuck? Who paints a fresh coat and moves out? Okay, security deposit guy, I hear you. Really though.....They're painting 14 distinct loud, exotic, and/or hideous colors. What is going through their heads? My responses were as follows:
1. Yep, wanted to spruce 'er up before we shut 'er down...... (Blank stare)
2. Why would we paint just to move out? (Blanker stare - oh, this was the equiv of me saying fuck you without saying fuck you)
3. Yep, tomorrow we're gonna set it on fire (Blankest stare)
Well, sorry for the delay in posting. I'm sure RxforDisaster missed my lunacy.
Ta ta for now.
PP
Friday, February 29, 2008
Conversion Update
Ahoy-hoy friends, long though I have been gone, I have missed you. I mean you...the one of you out there that reads this blog....
Life has been hectic in Ye Olde Conversion. Many a night I go home, drink a bottle of wine and pass out with my cat licking my face. Only to wake up the next morning and have to go back to the Hole.
Today is Day #10 in a row and I finally have tomorrow off. Guess what I'll be doing tonight?
Some random thoughts:
I am going to find out where my customers work. I am then going to go harass them there. Even better if they are getting a new computer system. Then I will stand and scream for about 20 minutes, yell "THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS" and leave.
I'm not sorry I wrote on your controlled script when you got it filled last because you're trying to get it filled 11 days early. And no, you can't sue me for doing that. I know a man named Karl who will tear you apart for saying that (most of you know who I'm talking about).
When the drive-thru is broken, it's broken. We don't do that just to spite you (or do we...?). OH and when there is an accident in the parking lot of our lovely business, DON'T call corporate and complain that you couldn't get to the drive-thru because an ambulance was blocking it (TRUE STORY).
Girls need to stop getting so uppity about their birth control.
And I WILL stab the next person who doesn't want generic Protonix.
There just aren't enough hours in a day, really.
Cheers!
Life has been hectic in Ye Olde Conversion. Many a night I go home, drink a bottle of wine and pass out with my cat licking my face. Only to wake up the next morning and have to go back to the Hole.
Today is Day #10 in a row and I finally have tomorrow off. Guess what I'll be doing tonight?
Some random thoughts:
I am going to find out where my customers work. I am then going to go harass them there. Even better if they are getting a new computer system. Then I will stand and scream for about 20 minutes, yell "THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS" and leave.
I'm not sorry I wrote on your controlled script when you got it filled last because you're trying to get it filled 11 days early. And no, you can't sue me for doing that. I know a man named Karl who will tear you apart for saying that (most of you know who I'm talking about).
When the drive-thru is broken, it's broken. We don't do that just to spite you (or do we...?). OH and when there is an accident in the parking lot of our lovely business, DON'T call corporate and complain that you couldn't get to the drive-thru because an ambulance was blocking it (TRUE STORY).
Girls need to stop getting so uppity about their birth control.
And I WILL stab the next person who doesn't want generic Protonix.
There just aren't enough hours in a day, really.
Cheers!
Friday, January 25, 2008
I...I love the internet. Sorry pharmacy phriends, your beloved has recently moved and does not have internet access in the new digs yet. I can't recount all the happening since I have left, but I can tell you it's been a hell of a few weeks working with new computer systems and trainers from California whose lovely advice consisted of things like "well in California we do blah blah blah this way" and "I'm not sure, you should probably call your buddy store down the street." But alas they left left and the yelling ensued from customers who could obviously see a counter full of new electronic equipment but who could give a frig less and were appalled when the wait time skyrocketed to 45 minutes to an hour. This elicited responses such as "AH HOUR?!?!" and "JESUS what the hell are you guys doing back there!?!?"
sigh.
And the new cover of Drug Topics is a boat made of hypodermic needles. Weird.
But do not fear chitlins, I have not forsaken you. These visits should be more frequent now that we get WiFi here in hell and I am fortunate enough to have a laptop.
Happy dispensing to all, and to all a good night...
sigh.
And the new cover of Drug Topics is a boat made of hypodermic needles. Weird.
But do not fear chitlins, I have not forsaken you. These visits should be more frequent now that we get WiFi here in hell and I am fortunate enough to have a laptop.
Happy dispensing to all, and to all a good night...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
I'm torn: laugh or look away?
Okay, I think laugh on this one. Oxycodone and Viagra combined? Good times, good times; you'll see.........
Sorry - I had to.
Sorry - I had to.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Uncle! An open letter to my phones.
You win, phone; you win. Your incessant ringing and lady who says "PHARMACY, YOU HAVE A CALL....BLAHHHHH (LOUD BEEPING NOISE, SOUNDS LIKE BLAHHHHHHH)" have me beaten. That's just the start.....then one must answer said phone. I've changed my greeting to make things stupefied for my stupids, but same result. Here's a few examples:
PP: This is phrustrated, how may I help you?
Now, this seems like it has it all, no? I state my name, speak in a calm, soothing tone of voice and ask politely how I may be of service. Nope. Here's the responses I get:
1. Yeah, uhhh, is this phrustrated? (No, I like to lie about my identity right from the get-go)
2. Yeah, uhhh, did my doctor call yous? (Whenever you hear "yous" - run. Run real fast)
3. Yeah, uhhh, is my subscription done? (Where to begin?)
4. Yeah, uhhh, my doctor was supposibly gonna call yous, did he? (There's that yous again)
5. Yeah, uhhh, is this the photo area? (Why do I answer, why?)
6. Yeah, uhhh, I have some numbers....(Congratulations - I will say it one day - I don't know
when, I don't know who - but it's comin' fucka)
You may notice the first greeting of my slack-jawed contingency is "yeah, uhhh." Why is it that people cannot form a coherent sentence/statement/question/thought without the "yeah, uhhh?" I don't get it. I went to elementary/middle school in a poor, retarded town. I escaped (I mean excaped) and am able to speak without a.....ummmm......uhhh.....sttttammmmer.
Here's a bit of free advice:
Everybody's time is valuable in some way, shape or form. Think of what you're going to say ahead of time and identify yourself in some manner, please. I don't know who the fuck you are (well, actually, sometimes I do) and I don't know who your doctor is (well, sometimes I do). Chances are I'm going to reply by saying "That would all depend on who you are and who your doctor is." Never fails - next response "oh." No, your name is not "oh" fucker (unless you are by some strange miracle in fact Saduharu Oh of Japanese baseball fame - not so much). So, tell me these things three when calling:
1. Your (fucking) name - no stuttering
2. State your intentions in ten words or less
3. Your doctor if applicable
If you have refills use the automated system. It is 2008 and we've all evolved - except you phone in your numbers guy. I've tried it, it's not hard. I won't go into detail, but just mottle through and make my life a little more peaceful.
PP: This is phrustrated, how may I help you?
Now, this seems like it has it all, no? I state my name, speak in a calm, soothing tone of voice and ask politely how I may be of service. Nope. Here's the responses I get:
1. Yeah, uhhh, is this phrustrated? (No, I like to lie about my identity right from the get-go)
2. Yeah, uhhh, did my doctor call yous? (Whenever you hear "yous" - run. Run real fast)
3. Yeah, uhhh, is my subscription done? (Where to begin?)
4. Yeah, uhhh, my doctor was supposibly gonna call yous, did he? (There's that yous again)
5. Yeah, uhhh, is this the photo area? (Why do I answer, why?)
6. Yeah, uhhh, I have some numbers....(Congratulations - I will say it one day - I don't know
when, I don't know who - but it's comin' fucka)
You may notice the first greeting of my slack-jawed contingency is "yeah, uhhh." Why is it that people cannot form a coherent sentence/statement/question/thought without the "yeah, uhhh?" I don't get it. I went to elementary/middle school in a poor, retarded town. I escaped (I mean excaped) and am able to speak without a.....ummmm......uhhh.....sttttammmmer.
Here's a bit of free advice:
Everybody's time is valuable in some way, shape or form. Think of what you're going to say ahead of time and identify yourself in some manner, please. I don't know who the fuck you are (well, actually, sometimes I do) and I don't know who your doctor is (well, sometimes I do). Chances are I'm going to reply by saying "That would all depend on who you are and who your doctor is." Never fails - next response "oh." No, your name is not "oh" fucker (unless you are by some strange miracle in fact Saduharu Oh of Japanese baseball fame - not so much). So, tell me these things three when calling:
1. Your (fucking) name - no stuttering
2. State your intentions in ten words or less
3. Your doctor if applicable
If you have refills use the automated system. It is 2008 and we've all evolved - except you phone in your numbers guy. I've tried it, it's not hard. I won't go into detail, but just mottle through and make my life a little more peaceful.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
I got into an argument with a deaf woman....
.....and I lost. It wasn't a fair fight, really. First of all, it was a phone conversation. Yeah, that's right (thanks New York State). NY has a system called "NYS Relay" for the deaf/hearing impaired. It works by the deaf/hearing impaired person typing into a prompter/futuristic device ----> to an operator whom interprets and speaks to you (and says "GO AHEAD" after every fucking statement). You then respond (go ahead) -----> operator types what you say to the deaf/hearing impaired person. Let it be known a normal conversation is about as much fun as getting the back of your balls hit with a spiked bat. Now, I have nothing against deaf people; I had a late uncle who was deaf (from birth) and was quite affable. The hearing impaired, however (read: old crotchety people), are on my shitlist. Hear's (pardon the pun) how the convo went:
Me: Pharmacy, may I help you?
Operator: This is NYS relay, have you..
M: "go ahead"
O: Hi.........my........name........is.........Helen........Keller.......I......need.......rxs......delivered.......(ga)
note: (ga) will now = "go ahead" for typing/sanity purposes
M: What are the numbers (ga)?
O: I..........don't..........have............them............I...........was...........told...........to.............call..........your...
store........b/c.........you..........have...........delivery................(ga)
M: (I like where this is headed - look in Helen's profile --- last filled 2004 - fuck me) All of your rxs are expired, we'll have to contact your doctor (ga).
O: But..........I.............get..........them..........at............a..........different............chain............store......(ga)
M: We'll have to transfer the rxs to our store (ga)
O: But.........I..........was..........told.........you..........deliver...........(ga)
M: (What?) What? (ga)
O: When..........will.............I............get..........my............rxs..............?.........(ga)
M: I don't have them here, I'll have to obtain them from the other store (Oh, yeah, the rxs at said location were expired/outa refills and it was Christmas Eve - no delivery or hope until Jesus's b-day was over) (ga)
O: But.........I...........was...........told.........to.........call..........you.............(ga)
M: I don't dispute that fact (ga)
I'll end the misery here. This went on for TWENTY, count 'em, TWENTY fucking minutes of my semi-valuable life I will never get back. I stayed up twenty minutes later that night to try, but it just wasn't the same.
I hate relay calls, but the deaf/hearing impaired need phones too. I'm just glad it wasn't a Jetson's vis-a-phone or I would have really been up shit's creek. As frustrating as the relay calls may be, they beat the hell out of my knowledge of sign language - which only consists of "fuck you asshole." Come to think, that would've worked. Jesus loves me, this I know because NY relay tells me so.
Happy New Year (I think)
Me: Pharmacy, may I help you?
Operator: This is NYS relay, have you..
M: "go ahead"
O: Hi.........my........name........is.........Helen........Keller.......I......need.......rxs......delivered.......(ga)
note: (ga) will now = "go ahead" for typing/sanity purposes
M: What are the numbers (ga)?
O: I..........don't..........have............them............I...........was...........told...........to.............call..........your...
store........b/c.........you..........have...........delivery................(ga)
M: (I like where this is headed - look in Helen's profile --- last filled 2004 - fuck me) All of your rxs are expired, we'll have to contact your doctor (ga).
O: But..........I.............get..........them..........at............a..........different............chain............store......(ga)
M: We'll have to transfer the rxs to our store (ga)
O: But.........I..........was..........told.........you..........deliver...........(ga)
M: (What?) What? (ga)
O: When..........will.............I............get..........my............rxs..............?.........(ga)
M: I don't have them here, I'll have to obtain them from the other store (Oh, yeah, the rxs at said location were expired/outa refills and it was Christmas Eve - no delivery or hope until Jesus's b-day was over) (ga)
O: But.........I...........was...........told.........to.........call..........you.............(ga)
M: I don't dispute that fact (ga)
I'll end the misery here. This went on for TWENTY, count 'em, TWENTY fucking minutes of my semi-valuable life I will never get back. I stayed up twenty minutes later that night to try, but it just wasn't the same.
I hate relay calls, but the deaf/hearing impaired need phones too. I'm just glad it wasn't a Jetson's vis-a-phone or I would have really been up shit's creek. As frustrating as the relay calls may be, they beat the hell out of my knowledge of sign language - which only consists of "fuck you asshole." Come to think, that would've worked. Jesus loves me, this I know because NY relay tells me so.
Happy New Year (I think)
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