I should have aquired a minor in bricklaying

Ahhh the drive-thru; where to begin? We're so lazy, we have even shortened the 'through' portion of it. The drive THROUGH is truly the devil's asshole. I wish I knew how to patch in brick and mortar to rid my life of this evil. It would be kind of a masonry exorcism. I can't begin to convey the level of fucktardedness that "drives" through (thru) on a daily basis. We have two lanes: drop off and pick-up. This is clearly marked on the building, overhang, and pavement. Isn't there some type of reading requirement to drive? The reason I query is because people are continually going to the wrong side to either drop off or pick-up. People will get MAD at me, a semi-competent health care professional when any of the following happen:

1. Your rx/money will blow away and you have to get out of your car, completely ruining the whole drive-thru (DT) idea in the first place. I subsequently laugh my ass off whilst they chase down their goods. They then have the audacity to tell me there is a design flaw with my establishment because "it's windy --- you should do somethin' about it." Okay fucknuts, I'll come out there and stop the wind (who am I, fucking Thor or some shit?).

2. I "accidentally" crank on your rear view mirror with my heavy metal drawer when you're clearly too close to the building. Vengeful, yes, but there is a toll for the DT bitches. I do always make it seem as though it was a mistake or say something like "oooooh didn't realize your car (read: hoopty) was so close..."

3. You expect me to somehow defy physics and send your diapers/depends/underpads or other urine soaking device via our drop off tube system. I didn't design it folks. The tube is my mortal enemy. Just like you can't send your piggy bank to the teller at the bank, my tube is also sturdy enough to carry the air inside and maybe a rx vial (maybe 2 - depends on the day). If you have urine soaking devices to pick up, please come in - we gots bags to put 'em in. Oh yeah, you're in the wrong fucking lane pissy.

4. People who's windows don't work. Nothing makes my day like seeing some fucking weirdo STANDING and peering in my DT outside of their mobile. Here's a hint: if your windows don't work, God does not want you to use my DT; come on in. The wind comes into play here again. We live in a wintry climate. Nothing like a crisp day with no temperature (0 degrees) and a retard in an Elmer Fudd hat to make the day brighter. These people actually will say something like "I've been standing here forever, I'm freezin'!" This is clearly not my bad life decision. "We have this new-fangled thing called 'heat' in here," I will say bitingly. Come in the store if your windows don't work - for the love of my sanity. Also, one could go Dukes of Hazzard on their rig and knock out the windows - problem solved.

I have many more, but my time is up for now. Remember, the DT is a privilege, not a birthright. My employer will never take that privilege away, however, so keep being as stupid as you want. Also remember that a side order of fentanyl or a super-sized codeine shake is definitely extra. Try our new combo........ugh