Although sometimes I wish I was. This story is straight out of the scary-but-true question files:
Friday, about 3pm: I receive a call from a male customer asking letting me know that he had lost(?) a sheet to his patient information leaflet for the prescription cream he had picked up the other day. Well, he explained, he was reading it and he had a question.
"Why does it say not to put cream in your nose or mouth?" Okay, buddy, I'll play your game. "Because topical medications are not to be absorbed internally, and putting the cream in those places would..." yadda yadda some brainy bullshit that I kept rambling off because I was not prepared to answer a question pertaining to eating a topical prescription cream. So I ask the man if he had gotten some in his nose/mouth (what? why else would he ask?) and he replies "oh no, no, no I'm using it on my groin......." And I'll pause here for the moment of silence before the riptide comes and sends my body and brain flying in all directions.
"But I got some cream in the tip of my penis and now it's burning."
There. There it is, folks. The tone had been set for the long weekend I was going to have.
I know the cream is an antifungal, but for the love of everything holy how the FUCK did it get IN your penis?!? What in god's name were you doing slathering that shit on the head of your penis in the first place?? WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF FUNGUS...?!
and that's where my brain went on strike and said "I've had enough of this shit for one day" and turned itself off until I went home that night.
The rest of the weekend, while being infused with the usual smattering of idiots (most of whom are now in the "donut hole" and extremely lost and belligerent) pales in comparison to that gem.
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