10. Sold it all
9. Was taking over the toilet and dropped the whole bottle in (Why.....?)
8. My purse was stolen
7. My doc told me to take more (this one's a 50/50, sorry MDs, you fuck up too...)
6. My dog/cat/llama/iguana was playing with the bottle.......
5. Was taking over the sink and dropped the whole bottle down the drain (What.....?)
4. They broke into my car (and only stole my controlled substance)
3. My doctor wrote me a new subscription, so I can get it (Not so much)
2. They broke into my house (No, your police report will not net you an early refill)
1. Going on vacation. If you take a controlled substance, your likelihood for vacation increases
by at least 10-fold.
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11. My grandmother/father died. (For the 3rd time in the past 4 months)
12. I was shorted! (NO)
13. I got it filled on X date! You're lying! (Why would I?)
14. I was shorted: Reloaded. (Sometimes I wish my last name was Smith...)
15. My kid stole it. (Wow)
"i went to the casino and the valet stole my bottle of lortabs..."
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