Aahh it was a bright an early Friday morning, T-minus 8 hours until my VACATION (hey, I only get one a year) and my first phone call of the day was from, oddly enough, Phrustrated's replacement in our CorpoPharma family. We chat often, I knew him as an intern, all around good guy. Anywho, it was regarding a mutual user of ours who had showed up, bright and shining at 9am at said other store looking for his "'prazolams" (I'm...not kidding) one day early. The funny part was...that his doctor's office had mailed them to my pharmacy and I had been planning to drop them off later, along with the cover scripts they mistakenly sent us as well. Well, lo and behold, not 10 minutes later I see a GIANT red-faced huffing and puffing man at my Drop-Off counter. And I mean....GIANT.
"Hey, the other pharmacy said you had my scrips!"
Yes, I did. And oh, the doctor was smart enough to even post-date it. There's a reason they do that; because they've had trouble with you getting them early before. And I even saw the pharmacy law argument coming from miles away. I informed him that we could not change the date on a controlled substance prescription over the phone and his doctor would have to write out a new one. No, he can't phone it in.
"Look, I know the law, and I know that this is only a Tier 1 medication! I gotta get these I have a big weekend planned!" A big weekend of passing out I assume.
Uh, what? You mean a generic, say I. "No, there's three tiers of drugs and these are like...Tier 1, and then there's Tier 2, and Tier 3 is like my Oxycontins and Codones (which he is on too, of course) and stuff. You know what I'm talking about."
Oh. No, I don't. So I looked the angry red fatman in the eye and say, "Actually, there are five SCHEDULES of controlled substances, and this one is a schedule 4. And I know the law, too." Angry red-faced fatman sits down muttering to himself and proceeds to whip out a cell phone and try to get ahold of his doctor's office. Then, he says those magic words: "Is there a 24-hour store around here?" And you know what, I gave the fatman his prescription; no pharmacist in their right mind would fill a post-dated control, and if he tried to change the date (a big tip-off, you users) the doctors office, just a phone call away, is closed. Mwahahahaha. So at least when he goes to fill it at 12:01am, he's not my problem.
Later today, about T-minus 4 hours til VACATION, a get a Soma script shoved at me.
"What kinda Somas do you guys have? The ones with the 'CORE'(Corepharma) or whut?" I informed him that we carried Qualitest brand. "Oh hey, lemme see those" and I show the silly user our carisoprodol, and I get the "No, I dunno what it is about some of them but those don't work, gimme my scrip back"
Ahh, what a fun-filled last day before I have to be back two Mondays from now.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
So, at work we keep a log of stupid things our fine customers say. No, really. It's a notebook entitled "Famous Quotes" you all should really see it sometime. We've had quite unbelievable quotes from people, but today I added one that I think topped the charts.
And I quote: "This isn't fucking Russia!!"
Now, where would such an utterance come from, might you ask. I mean, this is a pharmacy, not a political meeting of any sort. But today, when I told a 70-something woman that she couldn't sit in the drive-thru (hence the name) for 15 minutes and wait for her prescription, so proceeded to tell me something about how "this is America" and my reply was the classic look of confusion, and this is the truth I swear, I said "uh...what?" I had to take a minute and step back and think about what this woman was telling me. But instead I told her it would be 15 minutes she could go wait in the parking lot and come back in 15 into the other lane. To this, she backed her car up, and just shimmied right into the other lane, assuming, I guess, that she was just going to wait there in the pick-up lane. I had had it so I was just going to leave her there to sit when, of course, another car pulls behind her. At this point my partner stepped in and asked the woman to move so we could take care of the person behind her and that she couldn't wait in the drive-thru. And to this, her reply was "This isn't fucking Russia!!" and then some more ramblings on about how this was just ridiculous and she left another pharmacy before this one because of the wait (basically, in a nutshell, one of the just-give-it-to-me people). The customers inside were truly aghast as the woman kept yelling in the drive-thru about America and Russia (because, I can only assume, in Russia prescriptions take 15 minutes to fill, whereas in America, they are magically filled when you get there) and then asked for her prescriptions back. I kinda want to know where she eventually took it, seeing as the store down the street from us is usually an hour wait, and the one beyond that in the next town over is probably more because they do a solid 400 by 1pm on any given Monday. I wonder if she ever found that magical pharmacy....you know the one where your prescriptions are filled with no wait and you can get your controls 15 days early.
So, for shits and giggles I call down the street to talk to Phrustrated's sister-in-law who works where the lady had just come from to hear their tale. It ran pretty much the same, only the wait-time there was 45 minutes and she had wanted to wait in the drive-thru. But I guess they were not special enough for the Russia vs. America rant.
Someday I will have to go to a pharmacy in Russia...perhaps yell at them that "This isn't America!" for no real reason whatsoever. In fact I plan on it...
And I quote: "This isn't fucking Russia!!"
Now, where would such an utterance come from, might you ask. I mean, this is a pharmacy, not a political meeting of any sort. But today, when I told a 70-something woman that she couldn't sit in the drive-thru (hence the name) for 15 minutes and wait for her prescription, so proceeded to tell me something about how "this is America" and my reply was the classic look of confusion, and this is the truth I swear, I said "uh...what?" I had to take a minute and step back and think about what this woman was telling me. But instead I told her it would be 15 minutes she could go wait in the parking lot and come back in 15 into the other lane. To this, she backed her car up, and just shimmied right into the other lane, assuming, I guess, that she was just going to wait there in the pick-up lane. I had had it so I was just going to leave her there to sit when, of course, another car pulls behind her. At this point my partner stepped in and asked the woman to move so we could take care of the person behind her and that she couldn't wait in the drive-thru. And to this, her reply was "This isn't fucking Russia!!" and then some more ramblings on about how this was just ridiculous and she left another pharmacy before this one because of the wait (basically, in a nutshell, one of the just-give-it-to-me people). The customers inside were truly aghast as the woman kept yelling in the drive-thru about America and Russia (because, I can only assume, in Russia prescriptions take 15 minutes to fill, whereas in America, they are magically filled when you get there) and then asked for her prescriptions back. I kinda want to know where she eventually took it, seeing as the store down the street from us is usually an hour wait, and the one beyond that in the next town over is probably more because they do a solid 400 by 1pm on any given Monday. I wonder if she ever found that magical pharmacy....you know the one where your prescriptions are filled with no wait and you can get your controls 15 days early.
So, for shits and giggles I call down the street to talk to Phrustrated's sister-in-law who works where the lady had just come from to hear their tale. It ran pretty much the same, only the wait-time there was 45 minutes and she had wanted to wait in the drive-thru. But I guess they were not special enough for the Russia vs. America rant.
Someday I will have to go to a pharmacy in Russia...perhaps yell at them that "This isn't America!" for no real reason whatsoever. In fact I plan on it...
Sunday, July 6, 2008
turn down the bass and fill that prescription....
ahh summertime and the livin's easy. sorta.
summer has become the usual slew of "IMGOINGONVACATIONNOWANDINEEDFIVEMONTHSOFMYPRESCRIPTIONBEFOREMYPLANELEAVESIN10MINUTES" it's not any different really. i got reminded the other day of one of my most favorite customer quotes ever. "whatever happened to the five minute prescription?"
i don't know. but if this guy could find it i wouldn't want it back anyway. a customer and his wife were in the drive-thru the other day for a presciption the doctor had just called in: a z-pak. so i go to the window and say blah blah md just called it in it's going to be about 20 minutes if you'd like to come back or come inside and wait blah blah. so he looks at me and says "well don't you just have to slap a label on it?"
now, for those of you in the profession these are arguably the most hated words one can hear. so i said "it's a little more involved than that sir, thats why your pharmacist is a DOCTOR" and walked away. mostly because you wouldn't like me when i get angry.
i mean, i could go on about what filling your prescription involves, but i'm just not going to; most of you know anyway. and, in fact, now that you've said something as ignorant as that, it's going to take longer. suddenly your insurance is down, oopsie. these people can all go to hell.
but for some reason i am consoled because this is the same patiet...MALE patient...who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. not that cancer is funny, but it is when you are a douchebag and have giant man-titties and turns out you have breast cancer. muhahahaha.
summer has become the usual slew of "IMGOINGONVACATIONNOWANDINEEDFIVEMONTHSOFMYPRESCRIPTIONBEFOREMYPLANELEAVESIN10MINUTES" it's not any different really. i got reminded the other day of one of my most favorite customer quotes ever. "whatever happened to the five minute prescription?"
i don't know. but if this guy could find it i wouldn't want it back anyway. a customer and his wife were in the drive-thru the other day for a presciption the doctor had just called in: a z-pak. so i go to the window and say blah blah md just called it in it's going to be about 20 minutes if you'd like to come back or come inside and wait blah blah. so he looks at me and says "well don't you just have to slap a label on it?"
now, for those of you in the profession these are arguably the most hated words one can hear. so i said "it's a little more involved than that sir, thats why your pharmacist is a DOCTOR" and walked away. mostly because you wouldn't like me when i get angry.
i mean, i could go on about what filling your prescription involves, but i'm just not going to; most of you know anyway. and, in fact, now that you've said something as ignorant as that, it's going to take longer. suddenly your insurance is down, oopsie. these people can all go to hell.
but for some reason i am consoled because this is the same patiet...MALE patient...who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. not that cancer is funny, but it is when you are a douchebag and have giant man-titties and turns out you have breast cancer. muhahahaha.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Tha money ain't a thang.....
Holla at your boy, it's been awhile. I'm still alive. I recently had a change in corpropharmavenues, leaving time a bit pressed and life less stressful (ha fucking za). I've learned a few immutable facts, however.
Pharmacy is pharmacy. Yes, it's deep and profound (actually that sounds terarded) but not alot is different. People are raving lunatic assholes no matter where you are, just not in massive droves like my ol' stomping grounds. I've found smaller doses (pardon) of stupid-jerk-ass-dicks are easier to tolerate than gaggles o' them. What's the point? There isn't one - I just like typing stupid-jerk-ass-dick.
People with money are just as dumb as people without money. How do these folks accumulate wealth (or the appearance of it)? Seriously, some of these douche nozzles shouldn't be able to tie their own shoes let alone carry on a normal life. For all intents and purposes these "rich people" whom "treat me like I'm a little boy who's lost" (I'm not, for the record - I'm large and trapped behind a counter like a large rat) should be lucky the automatic doors open for them. So - when you turn into Snippy McSnipperson over your copays that are always the same (read: different every month - I don't know, I just work here) don't blame me when that automatic door pinches your fat, rich ass on the way out (cocklunch).
People still make my blood boil. I do a good, neigh, great job of bullshitting but there's an inferno ready to break out. Thankfully, I'm relatively sane and will not go postal or Oprah on someone. I know "going Oprah" isn't really a term, but I still hold 2 grudges against her. Yep - Netti pots and Airborne. Oprah is not a pharmacist, doctor, nurse practitioner, midwife, physician's assistant (well...), podiatrist, chiropractor, physical therapist, accupunturist, bus driver, teacher, janitor, jizmopper or anything that gives her the authority to promote this crap. Don't listen to the Oprah, she won't give YOU a car. Only starving kids in South Africa get cars - or something like that. Fuckin' Oprah! Ughhhhh! Fuck!
There, I'm better. God, I hate Oprah.
Pharmacy is pharmacy. Yes, it's deep and profound (actually that sounds terarded) but not alot is different. People are raving lunatic assholes no matter where you are, just not in massive droves like my ol' stomping grounds. I've found smaller doses (pardon) of stupid-jerk-ass-dicks are easier to tolerate than gaggles o' them. What's the point? There isn't one - I just like typing stupid-jerk-ass-dick.
People with money are just as dumb as people without money. How do these folks accumulate wealth (or the appearance of it)? Seriously, some of these douche nozzles shouldn't be able to tie their own shoes let alone carry on a normal life. For all intents and purposes these "rich people" whom "treat me like I'm a little boy who's lost" (I'm not, for the record - I'm large and trapped behind a counter like a large rat) should be lucky the automatic doors open for them. So - when you turn into Snippy McSnipperson over your copays that are always the same (read: different every month - I don't know, I just work here) don't blame me when that automatic door pinches your fat, rich ass on the way out (cocklunch).
People still make my blood boil. I do a good, neigh, great job of bullshitting but there's an inferno ready to break out. Thankfully, I'm relatively sane and will not go postal or Oprah on someone. I know "going Oprah" isn't really a term, but I still hold 2 grudges against her. Yep - Netti pots and Airborne. Oprah is not a pharmacist, doctor, nurse practitioner, midwife, physician's assistant (well...), podiatrist, chiropractor, physical therapist, accupunturist, bus driver, teacher, janitor, jizmopper or anything that gives her the authority to promote this crap. Don't listen to the Oprah, she won't give YOU a car. Only starving kids in South Africa get cars - or something like that. Fuckin' Oprah! Ughhhhh! Fuck!
There, I'm better. God, I hate Oprah.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Lovastatin OTC - Hell No, We Won't Go
I know your pharmacy members are throbbing in anticipation of a new article so....ta-da!
So recently hell froze over, I'm not sure if you know. I...I agreed with an FDA ruling on barring Lovastatin from going OTC as Mevacor 20. Now I don't have too long left in this day of usual hell, so I'm going to make this quick and painless, like Novocain.
First of all, I'd like to know who thinks that these...customers...of ours can successfully manage a medication regimen that revolves around having continuous bloodwork. Or successfully diagnose themselves with "high cholesterol." And not take them just because you're fat. People, collectively, are not very smart. Think of your own scary encounters with customers. Just think about it....
So recently hell froze over, I'm not sure if you know. I...I agreed with an FDA ruling on barring Lovastatin from going OTC as Mevacor 20. Now I don't have too long left in this day of usual hell, so I'm going to make this quick and painless, like Novocain.
First of all, I'd like to know who thinks that these...customers...of ours can successfully manage a medication regimen that revolves around having continuous bloodwork. Or successfully diagnose themselves with "high cholesterol." And not take them just because you're fat. People, collectively, are not very smart. Think of your own scary encounters with customers. Just think about it....
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Why do I even listen?
People are the worst; Jerry Seinfeld said that. I really have lost faith in the "common man." I'm convinced the soon-to-be politically correct term will be the "uncommon man." Don't understand where I'm going with this - let's watch!
A woman called up to see if her "OPPRESSION" drug was ready. Fuck. That is the only one word sentence I could think of. Seriously, how fucking stupid does one need to be. There is a major difference between DEPRESSION (which is what I believe she was referring to - who really knows) and OPPRESSION. Unless you are a former slave or a pharmacy employee, you are not oppressed. Now, before you call me a motherfucker, I am NOT comparing slavery to pharmacy employment in any way, shape or form. We are/were not oppressed in nearly the fashion they were. We do however have to put up with alot of abuse and rarely get a bathroom break. That's neither here nor there, though. Back to "OPRESSA" as I named her in my head.....(what a great birth control name - "kill the tiny babies within you with Opressa!")
I informed her that her oppression medication was not authorized by the doctor yet and she should contact her MD about her oppression med (Oh yes I did). She is in a wheelchair and one of her sons is a dead ringer for Boy George, so maybe I'm the idiot....maybe she is oppressed (huh).
Next in line........we're getting a store face lift after the hostile takeover. PPR - that's paint, powder, reset to those playing along at home. I saw paint (whomever picked those colors should be drug out in the street and shot - twice), I saw reset; I'm not really sure about this mythical powder - it's absence has me a little worried. During the chaos of paint and swearing painters, 1 in 3 people would come up and ask: "So ur shuttin' the place down?" What......the.....fuck? Who paints a fresh coat and moves out? Okay, security deposit guy, I hear you. Really though.....They're painting 14 distinct loud, exotic, and/or hideous colors. What is going through their heads? My responses were as follows:
1. Yep, wanted to spruce 'er up before we shut 'er down...... (Blank stare)
2. Why would we paint just to move out? (Blanker stare - oh, this was the equiv of me saying fuck you without saying fuck you)
3. Yep, tomorrow we're gonna set it on fire (Blankest stare)
Well, sorry for the delay in posting. I'm sure RxforDisaster missed my lunacy.
Ta ta for now.
PP
A woman called up to see if her "OPPRESSION" drug was ready. Fuck. That is the only one word sentence I could think of. Seriously, how fucking stupid does one need to be. There is a major difference between DEPRESSION (which is what I believe she was referring to - who really knows) and OPPRESSION. Unless you are a former slave or a pharmacy employee, you are not oppressed. Now, before you call me a motherfucker, I am NOT comparing slavery to pharmacy employment in any way, shape or form. We are/were not oppressed in nearly the fashion they were. We do however have to put up with alot of abuse and rarely get a bathroom break. That's neither here nor there, though. Back to "OPRESSA" as I named her in my head.....(what a great birth control name - "kill the tiny babies within you with Opressa!")
I informed her that her oppression medication was not authorized by the doctor yet and she should contact her MD about her oppression med (Oh yes I did). She is in a wheelchair and one of her sons is a dead ringer for Boy George, so maybe I'm the idiot....maybe she is oppressed (huh).
Next in line........we're getting a store face lift after the hostile takeover. PPR - that's paint, powder, reset to those playing along at home. I saw paint (whomever picked those colors should be drug out in the street and shot - twice), I saw reset; I'm not really sure about this mythical powder - it's absence has me a little worried. During the chaos of paint and swearing painters, 1 in 3 people would come up and ask: "So ur shuttin' the place down?" What......the.....fuck? Who paints a fresh coat and moves out? Okay, security deposit guy, I hear you. Really though.....They're painting 14 distinct loud, exotic, and/or hideous colors. What is going through their heads? My responses were as follows:
1. Yep, wanted to spruce 'er up before we shut 'er down...... (Blank stare)
2. Why would we paint just to move out? (Blanker stare - oh, this was the equiv of me saying fuck you without saying fuck you)
3. Yep, tomorrow we're gonna set it on fire (Blankest stare)
Well, sorry for the delay in posting. I'm sure RxforDisaster missed my lunacy.
Ta ta for now.
PP
Friday, February 29, 2008
Conversion Update
Ahoy-hoy friends, long though I have been gone, I have missed you. I mean you...the one of you out there that reads this blog....
Life has been hectic in Ye Olde Conversion. Many a night I go home, drink a bottle of wine and pass out with my cat licking my face. Only to wake up the next morning and have to go back to the Hole.
Today is Day #10 in a row and I finally have tomorrow off. Guess what I'll be doing tonight?
Some random thoughts:
I am going to find out where my customers work. I am then going to go harass them there. Even better if they are getting a new computer system. Then I will stand and scream for about 20 minutes, yell "THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS" and leave.
I'm not sorry I wrote on your controlled script when you got it filled last because you're trying to get it filled 11 days early. And no, you can't sue me for doing that. I know a man named Karl who will tear you apart for saying that (most of you know who I'm talking about).
When the drive-thru is broken, it's broken. We don't do that just to spite you (or do we...?). OH and when there is an accident in the parking lot of our lovely business, DON'T call corporate and complain that you couldn't get to the drive-thru because an ambulance was blocking it (TRUE STORY).
Girls need to stop getting so uppity about their birth control.
And I WILL stab the next person who doesn't want generic Protonix.
There just aren't enough hours in a day, really.
Cheers!
Life has been hectic in Ye Olde Conversion. Many a night I go home, drink a bottle of wine and pass out with my cat licking my face. Only to wake up the next morning and have to go back to the Hole.
Today is Day #10 in a row and I finally have tomorrow off. Guess what I'll be doing tonight?
Some random thoughts:
I am going to find out where my customers work. I am then going to go harass them there. Even better if they are getting a new computer system. Then I will stand and scream for about 20 minutes, yell "THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS" and leave.
I'm not sorry I wrote on your controlled script when you got it filled last because you're trying to get it filled 11 days early. And no, you can't sue me for doing that. I know a man named Karl who will tear you apart for saying that (most of you know who I'm talking about).
When the drive-thru is broken, it's broken. We don't do that just to spite you (or do we...?). OH and when there is an accident in the parking lot of our lovely business, DON'T call corporate and complain that you couldn't get to the drive-thru because an ambulance was blocking it (TRUE STORY).
Girls need to stop getting so uppity about their birth control.
And I WILL stab the next person who doesn't want generic Protonix.
There just aren't enough hours in a day, really.
Cheers!
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